captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
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