I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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