I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Randomize