Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
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I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
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I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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