Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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