ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize