Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
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