You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
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Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
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I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Randomize