I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize