Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize