i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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