just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize