Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
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