I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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