The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
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he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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