i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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