I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
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