My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
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