I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
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My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
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Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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