My friends, they love my intelligence
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Randomize