my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
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