she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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