So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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