You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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