:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Randomize