i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize