I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
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