No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Randomize