great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
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