as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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