So drunk, too bad you don't want this
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
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The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
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Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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