I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
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