I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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