I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
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