happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
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