if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
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