6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
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I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
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Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
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