One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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