my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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