she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
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