I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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