i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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