Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Actions speak louder than pants.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
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