can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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