Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
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I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
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pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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