Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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