yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize