I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
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