I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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