Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
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