Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Randomize